I’m currently sitting in the airport waiting for my delayed flight to no longer delay. While I wait I’m scrolling through the LinkedIn app searching for jobs.
That. Is. Amazing.
I swear this is not an ad but I feel it is incredible that I can click “easy apply” and my resume will be sent to the company.
I usually spend hours on one job application at a time. Now I can see a job and say “yeah that looks like a good fit” and click a freaking button.
I can feel old people roll in their soon-to-be-graves. Like, their freshly dug graves are just ready to be rolled in. These old people had to walk up a hill both ways to go to school and all I had to do was click a button!
Literally one of the requirements for a job position was to be a “digital native”. I just checked off a job requirement because I just happened to be born at the right time. Incredible.
I’m loving the job descriptions now-a-days. You know, as a digital native, it was pretty hard having to fill out online applications on the computer next to the manager. I had to beg employers to hire me because my sweat would get all over their keyboard. No one wants that.
Now I see postings that start with, “Do you want to work in a place that feels like home, has hilarious coworkers and basically pays you to watch YouTube videos?”. Well, sign me up. I feel like talent acquisition has become the new car salesmen.
I’m tempted to make a social media but for a dog. Not my dog, I don’t even own a dog. I just want to see if it gets any recruiters. Maybe I’ll apply to a couple of places just to see if I get any bites (or barks).
I’ll get back to you on this. But if I do make a dog LinkedIn profile I need a professional name. Maybe Buddy Barker. He’ll need a headshot.
Though I don’t have a dog of my own when Nick and I were looking for a golden retriever puppy we stumbled upon a website where apparently a cult was selling them.
All the photos were hazy and no one’s faces were in them. Just their necks down complete with women in braids and long floral, pastel gowns and the men in overalls.
The main photo is of the owner’s face shoved up against a golden retriever while it’s being forced to smile. It looked like it had a gun to his head.
Maybe I’ll take a few pointers from them and have an equally creative headshot.
Wow, one second I was applying for jobs and now I’m threatening golden retrievers for headshots.
Someone hire me.