Modern Feminist Project: How to make decisions without destroying progress and other challenges of womanhood

This picture is a representation of the lightbulb moment I had when I thought of the idea for this project, except instead of it going off above my head I kinda had to slam myself into it. METAPHORSSSS!

Whether you believe me or not, every day when I make a decision I anxiously go through a checklist of whether this will affect my fellow woman.

“I really like these shorts but they’re a little short and I don’t want people to think I’m slutting it up.”

“Wear these shorts so little girls can too!”

“That makes me uncomfortable.” 

“Forget the haters! They have no right to comment on how you dress!

“Then again you are walking into a stereotype about college girls.”

“You’re not even a college student anymore!” 

“Do you even want these shorts anymore?”

“No, but not because society talked me out of it!”

“Yeah! Tell yourself that!”

And that’s just a conversation I have in my head about shorts! That doesn’t even begin to cover big decisions like career moves, marriage, motherhood, etc.

Then I looked up the book The Feminine Mystique and guess what, it’s over 50 years old! I need something a little more updated that can help me navigate the challenges of womanhood.

This lead to the realization that I have no idea what I’m doing (big shock) but that I have skills I paid a lot of money to fine tune in the form of a journalism degree. Therefore I plan on interviewing and researching as much as I can about making the common and not-so-common decisions that ping-pong you back and forth between traditional and feminist values.

After reading an inspirational book by Elizabeth Gilbert (no, it wasn’t Eat, Pray, Love! She’s written other books! Leave me alone) I gathered the courage to jump into this project.

Let’s call it, “The Modern Feminist Project” or “How to be a feminist in modern society” or even “What the fuck does feminism mean to me, I just want a cheeseburger”. The last one is a little long so we can use an acronym (WTFDFMTMIJWAC). Ah, that’s better.

Basically, I am young and scared but ready to answer the big questions in life. But I’d like a little help. I’m needy like that. So here I turn to all the women I know and don’t know for advice.

As a woman, I want to make decisions, not necessarily as a woman, but as an individual. Sometimes I can feel trapped in the borders of feminism when by definition there should be no borders to our equality.

A woman should be allowed to stay at home with her child or work full time based on her decision without being held accountable for traditional or feminism values.

A woman should not have to cover herself nor be shamed for covering herself. She should dress based on her mood in the morning, her religion, the weather, the trend of the day. Whatever way she comes to these decisions they are hers and hers alone.

Let’s reframe the idea of feminism to what it was originally intended for. The freedom to make decisions based on individual needs and wants, not whoever is yelling at us the loudest. 

All that to say, I am hopefully starting a podcast soon. I am trying to interview as many women as people about topics ranging from liking the color pink to rape culture. Anything from the frivolous to the incredibly serious.

Please reach out to me via comments or through the contact form if you would like to participate in the project. You have something valuable to add. It is common to experience some form of imposter syndrome but I guarantee you I find your opinion important. Your experience is of value to all of us.

Be brave and share it publically or contribute anonymously and we’ll come up with a sexy pseudonym like, “Anonymous Anteater” or “Jenna Jingles” or “Tipsy Tina”. Just message me with your mild amount of interest and we’ll determine a way that works best for you to participate in the conversation.

I am only one woman, with one voice, and I want it to get loud in here.

Also, (and this is the most important thing ever) if you have any brilliant ideas on what to call this podcast please leave your suggestion in the comments. Otherwise, it will be WTFDFMTMIJWAC and no one wants that.

I’ll be posting more information soon.

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